Wonderfully written, and so spot on for many of us, including me. Identifying that inner need is indeed key in helping us focus on the specific and to seek amend what we feel is broken in the relationship that makes us feel that way. Going on 30 years if marriage, running a business together with my spouse, cellphone alerts & juggling visiting grandkids, those special together moments seem to have dwindled over the years. Thanks for sharing this post! 🥰
Thank you for sharing that, it means a lot that this landed given what you're carrying! Thirty years, a shared business, a full house of grandkids on rotation... that's a nervous system that's been in "manage the logistics" mode for a very long time, because it had to be, not relationship losing the spark.
The dwindling isn't proof anything's broken. It's often just what happens when two people spend decades being extremely competent at running a life together, and competence quietly takes the seat where spontaneity used to sit. Naming the need, like you just did, is usually the actual turning point. Letting yourselves notice what's been missing, out loud, together. Wishing you both absolute best!
This is a piece I think everyone should read, because it is something we all go through at some point in our lives. I loved reading this. Nicely written. I often feel terribly lonely, I could relate to this piece because it's been most of my life lol. Thanks for writing. I hope it helps people out there. 🪄
Kat, the way you framed it stuck with me, that loneliness in a relationship isn't really about presence or absence but about specific things going unmet. It shifts the whole question from "is my relationship good enough" to "what exactly is missing here," which feels like a much more useful place to actually start. I wonder if naming those six things specifically is also what makes them fixable, since vague dissatisfaction is so much harder to work with than a clear list.
Wonderfully written, and so spot on for many of us, including me. Identifying that inner need is indeed key in helping us focus on the specific and to seek amend what we feel is broken in the relationship that makes us feel that way. Going on 30 years if marriage, running a business together with my spouse, cellphone alerts & juggling visiting grandkids, those special together moments seem to have dwindled over the years. Thanks for sharing this post! 🥰
Thank you for sharing that, it means a lot that this landed given what you're carrying! Thirty years, a shared business, a full house of grandkids on rotation... that's a nervous system that's been in "manage the logistics" mode for a very long time, because it had to be, not relationship losing the spark.
The dwindling isn't proof anything's broken. It's often just what happens when two people spend decades being extremely competent at running a life together, and competence quietly takes the seat where spontaneity used to sit. Naming the need, like you just did, is usually the actual turning point. Letting yourselves notice what's been missing, out loud, together. Wishing you both absolute best!
This is such an important topic and something I think everyone feels at times with a partner. Lovely piece.
thank you for reading and reflecting with me! So appreciated :) wishing you the best!
This is a piece I think everyone should read, because it is something we all go through at some point in our lives. I loved reading this. Nicely written. I often feel terribly lonely, I could relate to this piece because it's been most of my life lol. Thanks for writing. I hope it helps people out there. 🪄
Kat, the way you framed it stuck with me, that loneliness in a relationship isn't really about presence or absence but about specific things going unmet. It shifts the whole question from "is my relationship good enough" to "what exactly is missing here," which feels like a much more useful place to actually start. I wonder if naming those six things specifically is also what makes them fixable, since vague dissatisfaction is so much harder to work with than a clear list.